How Are You?

We get this question every other day.

It’s almost a courtesy to ask people how they’re doing, when we’ve not seen or meet them for a long time. More so now that the whole world is going through this pandemic.

Our perception of this question is usually as simple as it sounded regardless of how complicated our life is at that moment. So we answered simply with, ‘I’m doing just fine.’

Maybe we’ve bumped into a familiar face once in a while at the mall and assured each other that we’re doing okay. Maybe we had a hard and stressful time at work and refused to talk about it with anybody. Maybe our relationship with our loved ones were on the brink of collapsing but we felt that nobody needs to know that. Maybe we thought that our depressed episodes should not be of another’s concern.

Hence, we summarise our days or weeks or months – all the good, bad and ugly – into one effortless answer ; I AM FINE.

When sadly, deep down we know that we’re surely not, not exactly, maybe not even close.

Imagine if ‘how are you?’ is actually ‘how is your heart/soul doing?‘.

Imagine that people were really sincerely checking out on us, and not just asking out of common courtesy. Surely, ‘I AM FINE‘ wont suffice and wont do justice as an answer.

Because our hearts may be weary and our souls exhausted. Because we may be on the verge of breaking down. Because life may just be a repetitive cycle of mundanes. Because we may no longer find the strength to chase after our life-long dreams. Because after all that we’ve been through, we may felt like there are no other options except for giving up.

If that’s the case then truly, we’re not fine at all.

Hectic schedules in our daily lives may cause us to abandon our true feelings and deep thoughts. In order to maintain healthier emotional levels, it is super important for us to regularly recognise and acknowledge the contents of our own hearts and soul. Once acknowledged, we can further determine the cure to our brokenness, to fill the gaps of all cracks and hollows.

I’d like to think that the current pandemic – in all it’s seemingly never-ending quarantine time and tedious queuing at the store – to be a surprisingly humbling and introspective experience.

For we now have ample time to contemplate deeply within ourselves. In the confinements of our own abode, in the wee hours of silence when the world goes to sleep, we may find ourselves alone and at peace with our feelings and thoughts through meditation and ultimately, through prayer.

It’s definitely not an easy task. But whats worthy are never easy.

It takes more courage to examine the dark corners of your own soul than it does for a soldier to fight on a battlefield.

W.B. Yeats

May we be given strength and courage to delve deep within our beings and confront the demons that has been wreaking havoc on our faith in all things that are good and positive in our lives. And when the time comes, may we finally be able to say that we are absolutely fine with unquestionable confidence and clarity.

Lessons of 2019

1. On Calmness & Tranquility

Serenity can never be found elsewhere, but within ourselves. It is the wisdom of discerning a mere harmless threat with a life-changing concern. The trick is to recognise which is which and act accordingly. To leave and let go of situations we have no power to change and do everything in our utmost strength to change all that we can.

In order to nurture a healthy soul, mind and body, we have to carefully distinguish between situations and people that are worthy of our concern. By doing so, we will be able to face every single day without unnecessary distress, with an exceptional presence of mind.

2. On Expectations

I’ve learnt that it is often much better and sweeter to be getting something you dont expect. Life is generally unpredictable and people can be disappointing. It sucks when you put your hopes up just to be disappointed and let down in the end.

The best way is to not place your expectations too high. Work hard however you will and most importantly, have the highest of faith on the All-Knowing and All-Mighty God. Place your trust in all His infinite wisdom, and whatever the result may be, you’ll be thankful and happy.

3. On Giving

Giving does not necessarily have to be money. It can be time, effort, advice, compliments and many many more.

To those who look closely, the World is a beautiful gift. Hence, each and every one of us has something to offer to another, always.

4. On Friendship

Growing up and old, it is understandable that we each have our own commitments and priorities to attend to. Meaning that meet-ups may be as infrequent as it may be. Regardless, those who sincerely treasure friendship will make time for each other no matter what. Because one of the most precious things in life is time; once passed there will be no turning back. Time might just be the best gift in any friendship ever, be it time spent on keeping in touch, on having lunch, on talking and texting on the phone or on wishing and praying each other well.

We do not necessarily have to share similar interests to be friends. Just like magnets, the opposite attracts. And our differences complete each other in one way or another.

5. On Love

Love is not blind as defined. Love sees, and sadly Love almost always sees the blind.

The lover of oneself knows ones’ worth to finally walk away. The lover of others may latch on the unworthy and try to make Love stay.

I bid farewell to the Love of the past. For there will be Love in future; hopeful and in every way better than the last.

May our 2020 be blessed with fulfilled dreams, beautiful moments and life lessons. Let bygones be bygones and keep on moving forward!

On Dreams

There’s a saying that goes, ‘If someone appears in your dream, it’s either you’re missing that someone or that someone is missing you’ . To be honest, it’s a beautiful saying but a wee bit unconvincing to me. The most logical saying should be, ‘If someone appears in your dream, that someone is in your thoughts’ . The thought of that person- a person who made or ruin your day or a person who flickers in your mind for no absolute reason at all- will manifest into a dream. Apparently our minds are also incapable of conjuring the faces of people out of thin air. Let’s be real here, we’re not the Almighty God. So in case you’re dreaming of a stranger, well, that stranger is most definitely someone you’ve met in your life, like someone that passed by you on the streets etc. You probably wont remember that person’s face with a glance because, who in the world can? However, without realising, the faces are photographed in your mind.

Anyways, being in someone’s thoughts may not necessarily mean being missed. Say, someone might just be thinking of how much of a prick you are and how much that someone hate your guts. And you might be attacked by a machete in that someone’s dream. You might be talking to or about that person on something earlier that day and your mind might just decide to project that person in your sleep later that night, in dreamlike ridiculousness. You might also be thinking of a person you have not seen in ages, in which case, yes, you might be dreaming of that person because you actually miss that person.

But to say you’re dreaming of a particular person because that person is missing you? Sounds like wishful thinking to me. Like I’ve dreamnt of meeting G-Dragon before but I aint saying he missed me. He probably will always have zero knowledge whatsoever about my existence, a notion that I’m entirely okay with. #nothardcore

I cannot say much about dreams as a God-given clue though. Because, well, I can talk about logic in my own limited understanding but I’m so not an expert in interpreting dreams religiously, which I think is a God-given talent.

In a nutshell, if you find yourself dreaming of a person you have not met in a long time, go say hello. Doing so might just help clear one out of the thousand things that are inhabiting your mind, no matter how trivial of a thought it is.