Come As You Are

If I were to write every word that could come true, I’d start with you.

You’d be 5 years or maybe 5 months older than me. Our first meeting would be in a bookstore somewhere in this World, where you’d buy me a book and a glass of milk tea while you sipped black coffee. We’d dedicate our Fridays watching a movie, and you’d listen to how I loved the ending or hate the lines that were annoyingly cheesy. You’d know a lot more about life than me yet you’d speak humbly. We’d have our own little adventures to strange places and we’d be happy.

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One of my favourite Indie films is Ruby Sparks. It tells the story of a writer called Calvin Weir-Fields who manifested a woman in his mind, a woman called Ruby Sparks. Each and every word he wrote about her turned into reality as one day out of nowhere, she appeared in his home claiming to be his girlfriend.

Whenever Ruby’s sad and depressed, Calvin would write, changing her mood into happiness. Whenever Ruby wanted freedom, Calvin would turn Ruby all clingy. Ruby ended up all confused and their relationship turned ugly.

Ruby Sparks showcases an ideal love in ones’ perspective. While Calvin enjoyed having the ‘power’ to change Ruby’s character according to his fancy, Ruby was his victim. She had no freedom to feel and to be. Thing is, we all want to change people to cater to our preferences which more often than not ended up ruining our relationship with them. People change when they want to, we certainly have no say in that.

The film also speaks about acceptance. That to love is to accept all flaws and imperfections. True love is loving despite each others’ differences. Ultimately, to love selflessly is to let others be happy being who they are, not who we dictate them to be.

If you’ve enjoyed watching 500 Days of Summer, I guess you’d find Ruby Sparks just as entertaining. Both of this film started off with a perfect love story between two souls but the ending will hit you straight in the face, proving that love is not necessarily a ‘happily ever after’ kind of affair. In reality, love can be one-sided, selfish, controlling and full of toxicity. It’s up to us how we want love to be.

So let’s re-phrase the first sentence and make it more realistic shall we?

If I could write every word that could come true, I’d start with you.

You’ll come as you are, wholly you. Everything else will work out like they’ll eventually do.

Kill Your Idols

Back then when I was young and know little of the world, I used to think that fame is everything. That it must be amazing to be recognised by the public. That it must felt like a great achievement to have a bunch of people idolizing you. That when you’re well-known, everything becomes easy and your life will be all gold and glitter.

Now that I’m older, I’ve realised how fleeting fame is in this cruel and judgemental world. I’ve also understood that everything comes with a price. One day you might be under the pouring roses and find yourself under great scrutiny right away on the next day. The public will always be on your heels, preparing for the right moment to attack when you slip and fall hard to the ground. Being an idol is like being trapped in a cell on a stage with blindingly bright spotlights, while your audience gawk at you from all sides, expecting nothing but perfection despite their own imperfection.

So as an infamous being, I may not know a lot but I know at least this much and I’m all up for it : Kill your idols.

Everyone of us must have someone we idolise, figures we look up to, respectful beings that we’ve placed on a special pedestal. However most of us fail to understand that under all that seemingly impeccable bravado, is an ordinary human being prone to err. Or in a simpler sense of word, they may be famous but really, they’re just like us, in all the fragility and imperfection that a mere human being possess.

Idols are not saints to be worshipped or robots to be controlled. They should be entitled to express themselves as they see fit, to feel whatever it is that they’re feeling and to be free to go around doing their own business without having others to watch and judge their every move. Like each and every one of us, they can be wrong just as much as they can be right.

To kill our idols is to lower down our expectations of them. Recognise that like all of us, they’re flawed in some way or another. Bring them down to our level so that they’re within arm’s reach. Evaluate their mistakes and applaud their success. Most importantly, to accept their frailty and fallibility as much as we adore their sublimity.

Verily, we’re all entitled to be as human as we ought to be.